Turning the Page

So we arrived in Page Arizona for the last day of the trip. We set up shop in an area called Wahweap just off the shores of Lake Powell. We only had one day so we decided to do a couple hikes and stop by the Glen Canyon Dam. It's about the same size as the Hoover Dam and is almost as impressive. The highlight was our first little hike in a local slot canyon called Antelope Canyon. It's on Navajo Nation lands and by guided tour only. It's a bit pricey but worth the cost. There is a lower and upper section, we did the lower. It's longer and less crowded with similar beauty. This canyon has been photographed and published all over the world. There are many named areas in the canyon and if you look closely at the pictures you can see why. The title image is called "lady in the wind" and the picture below is called "the wolf head."

"Pirates Hat"

The "Mason, Izzy, and Hailyn pose for a picture."

"Sunrise over the Rockies"

The "Tall Dark and Handsome Guy"

The "Smiling Shark from Finding Nemo"

After this excursion we headed over to Horseshoe Bend for a hike to a river overlook. My lense isn't wide enough to get the best shot but it's a very dramatic bend in the river and a very long drop off the cliff edge.

We ended our last night in camp with a fire and some Smores for the kids. It was a nice way to end the trip and get ready for home. Our original plan was to stay in St George for a night but with Amber going home and weather coming in we called it a wrap.

After a beautiful week of new places and adventures we headed home. How does the road home decide to welcome us you might ask? In typical Utah fashion...7 hours of miserably windy, snowy, poor visibility slow going crap. Thank you.

Isn't Life Grand

So our journey continued. We headed south out of Moab towards the Grand Canyon. It was a beautiful drive even though it was a bit solemn and a small cloud hung over our trip. We decided to make the best of it and push on. The kids were great, they missed mom but were still excited about things ahead. We drove through a place I have always wanted to see, Monument Valley. It is well known for old western films and the place where Forrest Gump decided he was done running. It was a beautiful sight.

Then after a long day behind the wheel we arrived. Truly a grand place, like nothing I had ever seen before. It just goes and goes and seems to have no end to the vastness below. Hard to imagine a river was able to carve out such a large portion of the world and leave such a beautiful scar behind. I guess to a degree it's the same thing I hope for through our journey. This struggle for Amber will be the river cutting the scar that someday looking back has become some beautiful site to behold. A place we protect and recognize for it's value and never ending mark it's left on our past that will be ever present in our future.

Such a little doll

Never ending scenery

So we arrived to the end of the line at a place called Hermits Rest. It was a neat old place full of history surrounding the original development of the area. There on a column was this Bible verse.

Enjoying some fruit push ups.

So we hiked some of the Bright Angel Trail, went to multiple overlooks and museums, watched an IMAX film on the Grand Canyon and took in everything we could for the time we were there. Our last night we decided to stay late by the canyon and catch the sunset.

Not all of our party was as excited as the rest of us. Someone thought it was cold and she was tired and ready for her camper.

So our Grand Canyon time comes to a close with Page Arizona in our crosshairs. We will experience a couple more hikes including a world famous slot canyon who's pictures have graced the pages of books and internet galleries in abundance.

It All Starts in Moab

I had originally planned to give updates along the way but due to technical difficulties my computer was unable to charge so I will now be catching up. This was to be our first big trip together in the mobile living set up. Moab to Grand Canyon to Page Arizona to St George and then home. Like all things we plan they don't always go the way we had in our heads. This trip started out with a water leak that got us on our way two hours later then expected. No worries, we fixed it up with the rip off price of RV parts then got under way. Moab was gorgeous, 80 degrees and sunny with a larger than normal spring break crowd. Who cares...it's sunny and warm. Our first hike was to Mesa Arch in Canyonlands. It was everything I had hoped for and like all sites in the national parks included a very large amount of friendly Asian tourists. Brad and Rita decided to join us for the first leg of the trip which was nice. It later proved to be a life saver.

We continued to explore Canyonlands which was a lot of fun and such a unique place. So vast and wide open country. It proved to be a nice warm up to the Grand Canyon.

Next stop was Dead Horse Point State Park just outside of Canyonlands. I guess it was made famous back in the day as the site Thelma and Louis launched there car off the cliff in the end. Who knew?

Amber Lee a little close to the edge for comfort.

My Izzy B

Utah's iconic arch is located just outside Moab in Arches National Park. This is a nice little three mile hike up slick rock best done just before sunset. We felt up to the challenge except Hailyn, who was hot and decided it was best to remove her shirt and ride dad's shoulders.

The Delicate Arch

Trail on a cliff

Little Baby Rae

No trip is complete to Moab without a little off road action. We didn't have much time so we did a quick run through Fins and Things just outside Moab. It was a great way to break in the Jeep.

Nice place to enjoy the view

Well done son, well done...

All good things must come to an end. For Amber it was the end of the line on a vacation that was to be her break through after 18 days of hell. She was so excited for this trip and for time away and relaxing. Her body didn't agree. She got incredibly sick and was unable to continue. Through many tears and pain she had to say goodbye. Brad and Rita selflessly gave up the rest of their trip to run her home a day early. I am so grateful for them and there willingness to help her and all of us out. It broke my heart to continue without her. There were many tears. My partner, best friend and mother of our children had to submit to circumstances out of her control...yet again. I know there is a lesson in this for us. Someday I hope to understand. For now, I decided to continue and give it a go with only me and the kids. It's what she wanted and what we felt was best. It was incredibly hard but to be the right decision in the end. So our trip will continue, we started with seven and only four remain.

18 Days and Counting

Well it's finally over. She finished 18 days from hell and now we wait. She has been sick, miserable, suffering from insomnia and overall just feeling awful. So here is where the hoping starts, hoping she starts to feel better and hoping this made some sort of significant difference. Time will tell. For now the plan is to take a break, eat healthy, rest and start to recover. I'm not even going to go into a Plan B for now, hopefully there will not be a need. In the meantime thank you so much for all the prayers and support. For those reaching out from far away and for those right here in the thick of it spending time with her, supporting her, making her laugh and showing her the love. I appreciate all of you and thank you so much for everything. Maybe we will be hearing from her soon. Either way, it's the start of a new day.

Hoping for the Silver Lining

If you are like me you have been missing my wife on this blog. She has so much to share and always says it in such a way it draws you in. Unfortunately, she is in the middle of an 18 day ionized silver treatment that includes, oral silver, eye drops and all day IV treatments. The goal is to eradicate this bacterial enemy from her system. The company and physicians that developed it claim after the 18 days no bacterial spirochetes are able to survive. Let us pray they are accurate in their conclusion. Silver has been used for disinfecting and medical treatments for decades if not centuries. Hopefully through scientific advancements this new method will show grand success. This is also the start of Great Lent in the Orthodox Christian Church. It's a great time leading up to Holy Pascha (Easter) and Christ's victory over sin and death. We are hoping and praying for another victory as well this Holy season. It's been over five long years of wondering in the desert for Amber, dealing with a silent and hidden enemy that few understand. So much time alone in her thoughts and pain. As a husband it's been brutal not knowing what to do or how to help at times through all of this. So without going on and on about it all... we just hope. There is always hope and they can't take that away. None of us ask for such trials but that is not for us to decide. What is for us to decide is what we do with the time that is given us. (A paraphrase of one of my favorite quotes.) Thanks J.R.R. Tolkien

That there is an RV Clark

Yep that's right, and I will be taking it with me when I leave here next month, 6 months, next year...who the hell knows. Either way it's the new family home on wheels, well new to us anyway. It's a gently used low mile 30' Class A motorhome. Has a drop down bed over the front for Mason, two bunks on the single slide on the driver side for the girls and a master suite in the back with a spacious full bed. It works perfect for us. Provides a fun mode of travel, the ability for Amber to lay down when need be and gets an economical 6-8mpg. We decided to take it out for the maiden voyage last week and head down to Southern Utah for warmer weather. Sand Hollow State Park was in the high 60's and sunny. A perfect first trip and not too far away. The first day was a little rough. We got out about three hours later than I had hoped, forgot numerous things, ended up being so late the campground called to make sure we were coming before they locked the gate. We made it just in time! I had the joy of setting things up for the first time in the pitch black and strong cool winds of the southern desert. Needless to say Mason learned a few new things. After the first night it was nothing but fun. Bright blue sky, warm sun, red sandy beaches and some nice morning walks with coffee. Amber and I had a glimpse of what this could be like and how great this really could be. We are cautiously optimistic, as I like to put it, about this years endeavor.

A couple fearless little girls.

A Pure beauty

Testing the waters

A walk on the red rock beach

Mason ready for his first chance to drive.

The lioness and her cub

Not so simple

So to kick things off my wife and I have decided to share our new plan with our friends and family using the blog method. It's highly sophisticated and requires highly educated and qualified individuals to accomplish this task. Ok obviously not, but we did think it would be a good way to share our story. Now the first point I would like to make is I don't claim to be and never will claim to be an English Major or writing expert. I can however communicate my thoughts somewhat clearly and intelligently for a guy with a GED so bare with me as I attempt to share them with you. Simply free to just be has been something I have been telling my wife for years. It is my hope and prayer for her that she can fight through all she has been dealing with and find herself in a place where the expression makes sense. All of you know her story and what she's been through over the last several years so I don't plan on reliving it here. If she chooses to share more of her thoughts in her own words then I'll leave that up to her. Whatever she chooses to say will surely be a blessing to your ears because she is nothing short of amazing in her storytelling. The woman has a gift. What I will tell you is had it not been for what the two of us have been through we could have never come to a place where any of this makes sense. You see without challenge in life there is no growth, a life without adversity creates bland and grey meandering through life with a wondering of what to do next to fill the void. Adversity and friction sharpens the edges, refines the steel and makes it ready for something new. You need to be thrown into the fire occasionally to remind you of what's burning somewhere inside of you. For Amber and I it has taken us on a serious path of self-evaluation and rediscovery. Whats important, how do we see our future for us and our children, how to use our time and what to spend our money on. It's motivated us to really look into and reassess the so called American dream. The "American Dream" they say...freedom, a house, a good career, kids, etc. Now what that equates to for most Americans is debt, debt, and more debt and working non-stop to pay bills and accumulate stuff. Does anyone else think this sounds like freedom? Most people are working to pay for things they don't really want or need and working to provide "the man" somewhere else his ability to truly live free on your blood sweat and tears. So how does one combat this ideology? We make hard choices to go against the norm and place our value in other things. We put value in experience over objects, time with people we care about and not time in virtual worlds of no depth, we put effort in going back to our roots and living within our means and enjoying the little things. Where to start is definitely not simple. It requires hard choices. Ours came from the struggle with health and what was needed for my wife. It shaped my point of view and brought me a new understanding. Without that real struggle in my life I would have probably never gotten to a place to even challenge myself in this capacity. The road to discovery is littered with potholes, speed bumps and occasional land mines. Some meant to sabotage you and others to knock you back on course. So we sold our dream home. The home I always wanted in the small town I dreamed of raising our kids. It was also going to be thirty more years of servitude and debt, I would have been 66 when the house was paid off. We now live, temporarily, in our good friends basement. Give me some video games and a bag of Cheetos and I'm right inline with all the stigmas. (Insert cheap shot at my pride.) We live here with the first and ultimate goal of getting Amber healthy, whatever it takes, however long it takes and whatever the cost. I refuse to give up. This will always be my first and highest objective. In the process we have either sold or given away most of our "stuff" furniture, clothes, whatever... We are currently working through elimination and shifting gears. Second, we have purchased a motorhome. More to come on this in the next post but the short story is it is allowing us the freedom to travel. The ability to gain experiences with our family. Memories to last a lifetime. The opportunity for Amber to go with us, even on the bad days. The other option it provides is longer term living given the purchase of a piece of property or what have you when we get to our longer term living plans. The long term living plans you ask? Well right now it is looking like a small piece of property and a small (possibly tiny) house. We buy the property out right and have a small loan for the house to be rapidly paid off and free of debt. Financially free, material free, unplugged kind of free, truly free to focus on real life. I've become more and more convinced the "American Dream" of more, more, more is a marketing sham that is robbing all of us of something greater. So as Sean Rowe puts it, "if you want me to go through a wall then show me a door" this is my goal as I try to leave something behind. Where does God fit in? Everywhere. Our guiding light and hope that all of this is for the right reasons and not a colossal mistake. That includes her illness, selling the house, homeschooling the kids, all of it. Without God in our life and a hope that all of this happens for a reason I would be totally lost. The mentality that we all have a cross to bear, the teachings of the Orthodox Church and what struggle really means in our Christian walk has been the only thing keeping me and my lovely wife afloat. Now I don't always listen, carry myself Christian like or make wise choices I'll be the first to admit but I always find myself coming home. Home to my Savior to show me the way, the reason I'm alive, and the hope I have for a future. So without sounding too cliche, I hope you follow along and enjoy the next year or so of this journey with us. Only time will tell if the not so simple choice of living simply will provide the ability to just be. Not just be boring, not just be checked out, not just be lackluster and non-impacting but the complete opposite. For every action there is a reaction, thanks Newton, so maybe this action will be the small ripple that starts in the middle of the ocean and becomes the crashing waves on the shore.